{Wednesday, June 28, 2006 YY
so school's started and homework starts to pile up. and tests are all lined up, one after another. it's been tiring. and already i feel quite worn out. guess it's time i get used to waking up early, doing homework and sleeping slightly less...
anyways, it's yeow's birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEOW!!!
hahas, i watched SI2 today and i saw elena's banners but i didnt see ELENA!!! yay! i saw the banner i came up with. it looks nice! (: i'm being bias. hahas..
and HAPPY BELATED TO BRIAN.
this week's mother tongue week and they're playing around with the languages. so far, i've had two chinese devotions, one malay devotion and one chinese chapel. i cant wait for the week to end (: and no more chinese or malay devotions, songs, shows whatever (:
we officially swopped seats and i'm sitting next to elena and mergi? [Elena][Me] [Mergi] it still seems the same. fun, and quite nice (: classes are still as slack and as boring as ever. i cant wait for the weekend! (:
it's been 6 days. .. since...
and faith's almost back! 3 more days?!!?!?
let the memories go by
- Riel
.
;`9:30 PM
{Sunday, June 25, 2006 YY
and to end this whole holiday, i guess it was a mixture of fun and crapp. i hate the fact that time seem to pass so fast when you're having so much fun. and when you're back to school, time suddenly ticks so slowly. i actually dread going back really badly. i really dont want to go back. but i suppose, what i want isnt really how it will be...
and i will pull through this term again. because, i'm not alone. (: and i'll never be, because you see me through the tough times, even when sometimes it seems that you're not even there. but you always have been. .. and always will be.
"i'd rather die tomorrow, then live a hundered years and not know you." (: i like this quote. i was watching pocohantas at my grand's today. my bro was watching it, so i kinda watched it too. Funny how kiddy shows kinda dont seem too kiddy afterall. and, at grand's i guess everyone still hasnt forgotten the U.S trip yet and we're all pretty much jet lagged. and during dinner we were all discussing about it, it's fun to reminisce. and i guess, going to U.S with them was a good way to bond. playing asshole dai di and watching kor kor ivan play top spin 2 and sleeping on the mini couch.. i guess i miss all that... and kor kor darrell was funny.
"I dont know why i felt sad to leave U.S! wha lau i want to go back!" hahas. (:
and it's a brand new start. new seating plan.. i hope i sit with nice people. and i hope that i wont die before september (:
and i love saturday sermon. i'm changed because he said something that made an impact. (: thank you.
a closure to late nights and slack
- Riel
;`11:13 PM
{ YY
"lyin through ur teeth. have a gd one though i dun wanna be a part of it."
i hate you for saying this. i hate you.
i dont even know you anymore.
i leave for two weeks and i come back and you're different. i dont even know what's happening. what did i even do?!?!!?
and you dont know how much you've hurt me
- Riel
;`12:11 PM
{Friday, June 23, 2006 YY
.
and how does it feel if one day you disappeared for a while and when you're back, you realised that everything's changed. that feelings changed, that people changed. and you begin to feel insecure and you need assurance because now, you have no idea what's really happening. you dont know anymore. and yet at the back of your mind, you know you shouldnt be feeling this way.. because it isnt what's supposed to happen.. it isnt.
and how does it feel if suddenly, the deepest fears that you kept in your heart long ago came back to haunt you. and as you try to run, you turn back and it's chasing after you. and you turn to the front to find that there's no way out.. except to let it hit you, hit you hard. and when all these happen, you're lost and you dont have any way out. and as much as you want to run away from those fears, you know that it's becoming reality. and as much as you want to run away from it, you cant. because this time, instead of it being a dream, being fictional, being something that fails to exist,
it's real.
and all you can do is accept it. no matter how heart breaking or how tough it is to accept it, no matter how many times you tell yourself that it's only a dream, you still have to accept it and somehow move on. because as much as you want to stay, there's no use in dwelling in the past. and all that's left of it is fragments of broken memories. .. . . ..
that would possibly be kept in your heart. for almost forever.
okay, now that was a truckload of rubbish.
being jet lag sucks. i've been awake for a number of hours and still i fail to fall asleep. it's worse when as you try to sleep, you cant stop thinking about everything. things that isnt even important. things that are important. things that would only exist in a fantasy. things that make you cry. things that make you feel that you've just been hit on the face. things that make you feel foolish about yourself. things that make you wonder what you've been doing all these while. things that confronts you and things that make you realise truths that you dont want to accept. things that make you feel a sense of regret. things that make you dejected. things that make you laugh. things that make you smile for a while. things that make you scared. things that make you want to run away. things that sometimes you dont even know about or things that you never ever thought about. things that people have mentioned and have said. things that make you wonder why you're feeling this way.
hmms, in a few hours, i guess that's almost all that you could ever possibly think about..
right?
and now, it's 7.44 am. and it's quite sucky because i dont really have anything else to do and i usually wake up at 12 to 1 and now, it's far from that timing and as much as i want to fall into a deep, deep, deep, deep slumber, i cant. = / i hate being jet lagged.
jet lagged and tired..
- Riel
;`7:29 AM
{Tuesday, June 13, 2006 YY
your day is my night. and my day is your night. it's quite hard to talk to people actually so i resort to emailing. hehhs. it's night here and i'm quite tired but oh wells. (: i'm having pretty much what you call fun i suppose. and mmms. i miss people..
and the shittiest thing is that .. . .. .
.
.
.
.
.
I AM CONSTIPATED!! BAHH -.- ):
okay so whatever la. i need bananas. i love shopping. i miss people.
i hope CERTAIN people are sleeping early and not staying up to watch world cup. bahh it's practically impossible isnt it? -.- nvm..
i shall blog another day. i need to eat more fruits and i should sleep less. on average, i sleep at least 15 plus hours each day thanks to the van rides that are usually hours long because oregon is such a big.. place?
oh oh oh.. and is portland in oregon or is oregon in portland? =X hehhs. i'm sleepy and i'm missing people.
that's not good. ):
i dont feel like blogging anymore. so i'll do this another day. i need bananas!! ):
;`1:00 PM
{Thursday, June 08, 2006 YY
and i'm leaving in approximately 10 hours. will be out of the house in 7 hours and i havent packed. i dont really feel like packing actually. and i dont really know why i'm not even excited. iw atch my mum scurry around packing and making sure everything's in place and i see my little brother hop around excitedly, planning what he's going to bring and do in the plane and i think to myself, "why am i not like them?" and i just dont know why i'm not feeling like them. - excited and looking foward to this trip. this sucks a lot. =X
and i've been off the whole day and just forcing myself to sleep even when i'm not tired. lazed in bed a whole lot and just slept. ahh wahtever..
and jasmine got in -.- bahh now my bro will go all happy and crazy and yeow is gone case! then gayle nehhs?!!? BAHHHHHHH aminah's sister got in! HAHAHAS. and everyone's annoying me about jasmine -.- i am not jealous!! BAHHHHHH.
i'm going to miss all of you guys la!!! i feel like doing something fun.. quiksilver and roxy having a 30% to 70% sale!! AHHHHH (: LOL. sigh i really really dont know if i'm feeling HAPPY or not am i supposed to be feeling HAPPY??!?!!?
bahh whatever. i went to cut my hair or trim it actually. oh wells. i like the addidas jacket. ): i want it. i want the esprit sunglasses! ): i want new clothes. U.S here i come =/
and so this is it. the day i leave. 2 weeks of fun? angst? yearning? BAHH i dunt know anymore. i'm neutral. i dunt know wha ti should feel. my stomach feels really bad i think i'm going to DIE. ):
this feels sucky.
-Riel
oh oh, and about yesterday, yes, i ended up going to sentosa, but i had to leave early. i hated the ride home though. i dunt like going home alone ): it was fun. fooling around in the sea and sand. burying benn and throwing sand at aminah and yeow. hahas they deserved it!! (: i think yong jin is really funny though hahas. maybe it's because he talks a lot of nonsense.
sorry i kicked sand into your eyes benn, ahem ahem, please dont come after me ):
playing volleyball + soccer with davelle and sarah was fun. Sarah kicked the ball too high and hard that it flew really far and went into the sea and she immediately jumped in to save the ball and it looked really deep. she looked like some life guard jumping in to save ppl (: hahas. i prefer palawan to siloso now. the water is so much nicer. talking to davelle is nice (: davelle is nice! (: hahas. i think i'm a water person. i love the water. i'd rather be soaked in the water then on land. i dont know why.
and aminah!!! i'm not NANA or whatever. an isaac told moses about it -.- ARGH. see la! now i'm being called nana. i dunt like that name!! reminds me of the dog in snow dogs. i'm not a dog. i'm a human being.. pfft. i still find aminah really funny. (:
YongJin: hey sarah! do you know danyeow??
Sarah: .... (:
YongJin: I KNOW DANYEOW!!! (:
LOL i dont know why but i thought it was really funny and when i was drinking water i choked and laughed and sarah thought i was insane. hahas (:
YongJin: We must tell the world FAST.. so we must play the song fast too!! (:
then he plays tell the world really fast. i have no idea why it's so funny but it amuses me alot.and he sounds really FUNNY! seriously! (: hahas. he is really nonsensical hahahs. (: and me and davelle were talking about stuff in the water and i'm convinced that those sec 4 guys who have sec 1 brothers are like worlds apart from them. they all act so differently. oh wells. (: everyone's going on a holiday.. ):
i cabbed home ystd too! i just wanted to go home really bad i guess. i dunt like going home alone. i think i said that before. hahas (: and i'm not that okay. but i'll be fine later. (:
and even if i dont want to go away dear, i have to go dont i? (: i'm fine dont worry.
.
and after this, i disappear.
;`8:38 PM
{Tuesday, June 06, 2006 YY
currently at benn's. she's in the bathroom (:
so last week was a blast, despite the fall and everything. Sentosa was good. and i had so much fun with the usual people. benn.jo.xue.abby.grace. yeahhs, it was nice. and we attempted to do some water castle thing. and i built a very nice bridge.(:but it failed. the water kept disappearing. ): so we made sand balls and threw it into the sea. me.jo.xue.abby. benn and grace were on the shore chatting. blahhs ): i quote benn.
"i'm not a water person." RAWRR.
so anyways, xue, jo , abby and me later started chatting in the pool like the island creamery days. it was fun. tlaking about out I.C friend and bear bear and other things. it was fun bonding. WEEE. and after that parents were calling and it was a mad rush. fun but quite hectic. turns out jo had to be back home by 6 and when she knew that it was close to 8. then abby and xue had calls too and had to leave ASAP. so left me and benn. heading off to Plaza Sing, she had the urge to eat yoshinoya. so yoshinoya it was. (: i had a beef bowl.it tasted SO good (: then i was still hungry so i went to BK to get mushroom swiss.
i took a long time tog et back because knowing me. blur + stupid = havoc. and thus, i didnt know the BK store was on the same level. i went up and then down and later remembered it was on the same floor. -.- and i walked one round and found it and bought my food. and i dunt think benn knew i got lost =X hahas. it was good. i love mushroom swiss. it's the best tasting burger in the whole entire world.
and now i feel like eating something. i'm hungry.
Talked to david yesterday for a few hours online. and played crazy games. it was, funny. LOL. solitaire was stupid.. hahas i kept getting stuck. mmms, and then he sort of influenced me to download Soldat, that cute worm like game that is actually like CS. and it's quite fun but i'm so noob. and half the time i dont know what i'm doing (: i just kill and kill and kill and die a whole lot more. (:
so now timmy's hooked. and he played the whole day. mmms, david it's all YOUR FAULT. (: hehhs.
and i'm leaving int approximately 2 days.. ): i'm gonna miss lotsa things here. like you and her. and him and whatever. and like everything ): BLEAHHS
and benn and yeow's trying to persuade me to go sentosa tmrw which i dunt feel like going but blahhs whatever. = /
and and and..... i wanna play SOLDAT! and i'm hungry. ): and and and.. nvm.
i miss you (:
sleeping over is FUN. right? i forgot to bring my cam!! ):
bahhs wahtever.
holidays are the bomb (:
- Riel
;`8:32 PM
{Thursday, June 01, 2006 YY
i went for SALT outing today...
Being stupid, i decided to blade and THINK at the same time, about ice cream. (:
and guess what?!?!
I FELL. that was super UN-GLAM!
sigh.
and now it's SWOLLEN
and it's RED!
It's looks like an ISLAND
and it's HUGE!
it's so UGLY
and i'm goin sentosa tomorrow.
and with this HUGE and UGLY and SWOLLEN and RED wound,
HOW AM I GOING TO SWIM!?!?!?
argh! i hope it doesnt hurt too much cox i still wanna swiim!
BLEAHHS!
i dont care. i wanna swim. i'm still gonna blade again even though i'm a total clutz plus NOOBSTER but argh! whatever. it's going to hurt real bad in the salt water. but i still wanna have fun. everything has a price i guess. (: pain in exchaange for fun? worth it?
i think so!! (:
ahhh whatever. Jeann's really doctorish (: she's so sweeett (: doctor's daughter!! :P
and as for you, ii'm worried, you were off today. seriously, my mind and heart's unrested. i'm praying for you my dear. you're going to be fine. i'm sure of it. have hope and trust. (: and most of all FAITH!
stupid wound. RAWRR. my leg's gonna look HORRIBLEEEEE!! ):
i miss you ):
-Riel
;`11:12 PM