{Sunday, July 30, 2006 YY
Some questions you would never ask anyone. Stab 5 people to do it after you are done
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Oh crapp. My eyes are swollen again. I look like a monster!!
2. When is the next time you will have sex?
I havent had sex and it'll definitely be after i get married. -.-
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?
pour. whore. store. claw??
4. Favorite planet?
Mmms, neptune. dont ask me why.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
My Kor Kor
6. What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?
My phone's been on silent since i first got it (:
7. What kinda shirt you have on?
Cross shirt. tskk.
8.What do you "label" yourself?
Complicated. Introvert.
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
I'm bare footed now.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Dark.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Abby, mmms, she's awesome! ((:
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
The one i'm currently sleeping on. I love my bed.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Talking on the phone.
14. What did your last text message say that you received on your mobile
"Oh okay, can just check with them like whenever we see them online or something?..." - Jo
15. Where is your letter box?
Outside my house?
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
mms, LOL?
17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
I cant remember.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My dogs ((:
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
I dont take drugs. and i havent been sick so far.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
From the last time? Tons, but now I use digital.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I dont know.
22. Your worst enemy?
I dont have one. Is the devil counted?
23. What is your current desktop picture?
I'm using my bro's comp. If i'm not wrong, i think mine's Mia from Eight Below. that dog's so cute!!
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Bye Bye?
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?
Million bucks? i dont know. maybe to fly? I'm indecisive.
26. Do you like someone?
Typical question.
27. The last song you listened to?
Baby Just Say Goodnight - The Click Five
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
To prevent that certain special person from dying? Yeah i would.. i definitely would.
29. If you could punch one person in the face who would it be?
THAT person who made HER think like THIS now.
30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
My bro's phone?
I stab ... too lazy to stab people at the moment. .. =/
We're in a spell that never ends
The empty hourglass wore me thin
So let the phone do it's work
Your voice is heaven
But it hurts
Your words are memories
But they burn
-
now wont you just surrender to the constant ringing in your head telling you to give up already? i wonder, if my knowledge of your existence was nothing, would i be living my life differently?
it's late. yet i dont wanna fall asleep. cox i know it's just been another day without you.
let's say goodbye.
- Riel
;`12:03 AM
{Tuesday, July 25, 2006 YY
and today's founder's day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MG! it wasnt too bad i guess, and unlike rehersal, i did not feel faint or feel like blacking out, which should be a good thing. mmms, getting jabbed by tiffany wasnt the best of an experience. it was quite terrifying actually. i was dozing off or rather sleeping and then all of a sudden i feel this hard jabb on my shoulder and instantly, i'm up. it was scary. and i was almost on my way to deep, deep, deep slumber. oh wells.
and it's jeann's birthday too! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEANN!!
well, the shopping trip at plaza sing was quite nice. and i think trumpet praise is an awesome shop ((: and even though i didnt reall ybuy anything, i got to eat free oreo cheesecake from starbucks and Gelare! yay!
it wasnt such a bad day afterall. . ..
was it?
let us leave the broken pieces unmended like this.
-Riel
;`10:20 PM
{Monday, July 24, 2006 YY
.
now, that bitter feeling that one would describe as partial discomfort and miserableness, with a dash of jealousy in it.. . won't you just run a long?
oh, and it's that 'daily' feeling of that so called bitterness again. and i half wished and half thought that it had already left me. .. . .
and how wrong was i?
funny, how i suddenly seem to have forgotten how sucky it feels. .. ..
screw the crapp feeling.
screw my horrifying over-emotional self.
and today SUCKS. because for once i realise how loserfied i am. and for once the horror of being there and yet not feel part of there is like you're nonexistent. fading into the background. floating around like a ghost in a hollow body. .. and the only thing that's a source of comfort, that keeps you from breaking down and crumbling to the ground is the constant tune of take it all ringing in your head. ..
oh, why wont all my emotions stop harrassing me already. i'm pretty much waving a white flag already. .. someone brainwash me.
and i shall stop my incessant rantings of whatever there is to rant about and instead, keep absolutely silent.
woah, good idea!! -.-
my perspective just went heywire. someone, please call the 'person' to fix it. =/
less thought, more sleep would have been so much better;
-Riel
;`10:59 PM
{Sunday, July 23, 2006 YY
and the week's just ended. i guess time really does pass sooner than you'll ever realise.. the opening ceremony was well, okay. although i could've been in church instead. it's a mixed feelings of anger and just disappointment. anger because of all the free people who do not have church on saturday, you have got to be chosen. disappointed because i missed something i really wanted to be there for. because his presence was just so overwhelming. it was different that day.. and worship was so good that i cried and that never happens. never, never. and it was just that short while that maybe felt like almost eternity where you could feel his presence lingering.. . and you just want to hug him so tight, to busk in his awesome presence.. . and yet, you just had to leave. .. to walk out of the doors hating so much that you'd have to miss the sermon. that you'd have to just step out and be in school when you could actually be in the most happening and awesome place on a saturday afternoon. ..
but i guess, throughout the whole time i was out of service, i stilll could feel him there.. this special feeling that just doesnt come so often and you just know that god's going to do something in service that day.. that awesome wonderful feeling that you never felt before. and it slowly dimished after a while and then you realise that hey!! service is over.. .. ironic how it could actually turn out this way.. and sometimes you wonder, why, why did you have to be pulled out of service for a 'stupid' ceremony?!?! and you just dont know. but you're somehow reassured, because god has his reasons... ..
he has his reasons. ...
and when your mood suddenly takes a drastic change you wonder why. .. funny how, you're feeling pretty much fine, and suddenly poof, a wave of crapp pass you by and now you suddenly feel off and you have no idea why! how retarded is that?!?!!
and suddenly all my negativity starts to build up and i feel like tearing up paper. .. i dunt really mind stabbing random things too. like my textbooks. ..
and it's only been a while,
but i miss you already.
and i wish i had the courage to call,
to hear your voice once again .. .
then maybe i'll feel so much better .. .
HAHA. fat hope. -.- i'm ranting like mad but i dont care. ..
. .. . . ... . . . .. . . . .. .
[edited]
i wrote a lot of other stuff but deleted them after brother victor's voice boomed into my ears from well, nowhere. ..
"god is a fulfiller of dreams.. .."
"let go and let god be god. ..."
and then there's this verse from life conference day 3 that pops into mind,
"all my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.. ."
Psalms 32:8
and all of a sudden i feel so much better, so, so much better. and i scroll up and see how much crapp i've written. .. i really am such a fool. ((:
and now i can get to bed without a heavy heart.
and my superman saves the day again ((:
"perfection will kill you but excellence will liberate you. .."
- Riel
and Mo, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
the day's not over yet, it's 11.58. ((:
.
;`9:58 PM
{Monday, July 17, 2006 YY
i got stabbed apparently. so i shall do this. ((:
Bold the ones that apply to you, then stab 5 people to do it.
I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.[kind of. i landed my little bro in the hospital when he was young =X]
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. [NO. -.-]
I need money right now
I LOVE sushi.
I talk really,really fast. [yeah, kind of ((:]
I have long hair. [not really.]
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling. [2 bros. )):]
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D
I like the way i look.
I am usually pessimistic. [like negative?]
I have a lot of mood swings. [depends. not a lot but more than usual?]
I have a hidden talent. [i wish.]
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends. [i suppose so.]
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. [dares?]
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop
Enjoy window shopping
I would rather shop than eat. [or maybe not ((: hehhs.]
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer. [if only]
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. [naww.. .]
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God. [definitely]
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. [i've tried better ones in the U.S ((:]
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. [i dont celebrate ..]
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment [no. more like worried. and bothered.]
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time. [most of the time. hahas.]
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now. [yeahhs ((:]
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream. [i dont really knwo what yet but soon. ..]
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses. [and huggs ((:]
I fall for the worst people. [i dont know =/]
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. [Cuase faith stabbed me ((:]
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet. [i think i can ((:]
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions [all the time?]
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. [I've never tried it before but i dont mind trying ((:]
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better. [i keep everything. tskk]
I'm an artist. [nahh]
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.[this applies occassionally. then again, my room's pretty messy all the time. ((:]
I love being happy. [yeahhs, it's nice. but that doesnt happen that often hahas.]
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I stab Jo, Abby, Elena, Dave , Gid
.
and what if you knew someone was feeling down and off and. well just really really, different from who they were the last time. and you want so much to be there for them. to see them through. and yet, somehow, just somehow you cant. because they're not saying anything. and you jsut dont knwo what to do. you care so much. yet, maybe care just isnt enough. and it pains to see them go through so much yet not be able to help out. it's like watching someone suffer right before your eyes and yet you cant save them at all. .. the feeling sucks so much and yet, you jsut feel it and it's not going away. because that certain person's still suffering. maybe even alone. you dont even know.
and those were all pretense wasnt it? to be fine when you werent? to say you're okay when you never were in the first place. .. and what's happening now? i just dont know anymore. .. but i want to know, cause i care. .. ..
i care.
wow, such a wonderful way to start the week off. just wonderful. ..
and it's faith's birthday. ((: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
it's sad how you dont get to meet special people because special people wont be going to a certain place and i have to go to school on that day as well. so i cant show you special people. sad, sad, sad. .. )):
anyways, you're finally 13. i'll see you really soon. YAY! ((: god bless and may you continue to grow in him, always and forever ((:
--
JO, you forgot to get ppl to sign and you forgot to give the card AGAIN! i ought to give you a box -.- LOL. thanks for helping me with stuff. stuff that were important to me. really, important. ((: my benefector for today? maybe.
and i make myself believe that you're here with me when you actually arent. and i wish dreams were reality. because then i wouldnt have to be so ________ for so long. =/ life's really complicated. actually, maybe it isnt. i just make life complicated when in actual fact, it's pretty simple. =/
and that's the sad part of it. tskk.
90 degrees of separation.
- Riel
;`7:44 PM
{Thursday, July 13, 2006 YY
funny how within a short span of a few hours your world can turn from something so happy, to something the total opposite. ... and you wonder how that could ever even happen.. but then again, through those times where you struggle, that's when you truly realise who's always there. and who always have been there. .. if only you looked hard enough, you would've found him watching over you telling you everything's alright. .. and that there's nothing to cry about. because with him, you will find your strength and comfort. and with him, you will find true happiness. the happiness that you cannot find anywhere else but in his arms... ... within a short span of a few hours, maybe your world may turn upside down. but sometimes things happen for the better. and i shall believe that this is for the best. ..
that this is for the best. ... .
to quit or not to quit. it's funny how you start off with something you thought you would enjoy doing and after a while, you realise that you hate it. you hate it so bad. and yet, you just dont have the guts to back down. half of you wants to stay because you dont want to let yourself down, let other people down and the other just wants to break free.. to let loose. because it's tough being someone you dont want to be. it's tough to be someone people think you are. when in fact you're not.. you're just not..
heck what am i saying?
.
I'm walking on clouds now
And the sky is falling on down
I don't wanna wake up if I'm dreaming
Don't think I'll ever get out of my bed
And every moment brings a surprise
And my eyes won't open
I feel something's different
I'm growing out of my skin
Possibilties,
-Riel
;`10:22 PM
{Tuesday, July 11, 2006 YY
and when you thought that you knew someone so well, that you understood them, that you guys are really so clsoe, then you start to realise how wrong you could ever be.. .. that all this while, it was just the surface that you knew. nothing skin deep. that all along, you never really understood them..
"there's always more to a person than just this... ."
and when you thought that they were happy, and you thought that they were fine. and finally, after so long, you realise and find out that they weren't okay for a long while. and that all those times they smiled, those were all pretense. and that they were going through things alone, silently. and you never realised. till they told you. and then you wonder what you have been doing all this while. .. to be so oblivious to their pain. ..
"and sometimes things arent just the way they seem to be."
and when you're in love with someone that's just not meant to be, you wish and hope and dream. and yet, somewhere deep in you, you know it's impossible. and yet you miss and yearn to see this special person time and tiime again and you know that you're falling so deep till it's practically impossible to pull out. and yet... you cant pull out. you've just fallen too deep. just, too, deep... ..
"things were just never meant to be .. ."
--
you smiled
you laughed
you cried
you sighed.
you.
you.
you.
you.
you. ..
what is it with me. and all the yous. ..
i wonder.
today is a different day.
and you're not the same anymore.
or is it just me,
suffering from immense paranoia.. ??
gone were the days ...
- Riel
;`8:38 PM
{Monday, July 10, 2006 YY
.
and it's officially over. ..
and italy won.
and even though i slept less than 45 minutes just to watch the finals, it was worth it. ((:
and even though stupid zidane head butted some itallian dude and got a red card, i still think he's good. although he's seriously really retarded. like, it's the last time you're playing in the world cup, dont do something drastic!! then again, people often do things before they even think of the consequences they would have to face. .. still, he was so, so , so retarded!!! bahh. and that whatever french dude didnt get the ball in for the penalty shot. it looked awfully like the one zidane shot in though... interesting ((:
and italy wasnt too bad. though i dont see why elena think the guys there are hot and cute and whatever... oh wells. and.. their defence is really good. wooo. oh wells.
and playing the goondoo test on people's so fun ((: i get a kick out of that. i do have a very sad life. ((:
and you finally admitted that you liked him. brave girl ((: you cant lie to me ((: i have connections. =))
and i think i'm pretty much quite high due to lack of sleep but oh wells, and i think i'm going to miss the world cup...
and germany won third place (: bye bye christiano ronaldo. tskk. ballack didnt play. bleahh. oh wells. (:
and david's theory about why zidane head butted someone is LAME. lame lame lame.. . =X
and i miss talking to people. i wonder why.
- Riel
. stop playing those pretense games.
;`7:28 PM
{Tuesday, July 04, 2006 YY
youth day was fun. shopping is fun. (: and buying stuff you want is satisfying and yet feeling broke after that sucks. ..
shopping with xue was nice. spent about 4 to 5 hours walking around orchard but we didnt get anything and then brilliant xue decided that we should go to P.S and at P.S we bought heels // shoes and i got a bag. LOL. (: yay. P.S is wonderful and xue is brilliant. waiting for xue in orchard was really stupid. i bought food from old chang kee and sat at the bus stop to wait for her grand ahem arrival. and as i ate my fish ball, it came out of the stick, rolled onto the floor and then onto the road and later got squashed by a few buses. =X LOL. it was quite embarrassing and i kind of started laughing and people thought i was insane. i think. And, we met david as we left P.S, waiting for a cab and then he made us miss our cab!! RAWRR.
and coming back to school's really sad. i dont like studying. so yes, who does... but i really really, dislike it. a lot and a lot. history is boring. for the first time in my life, i kind of didnt pay a lot of attention to her, and did other things like count down to the september hols and mark out all the holidays i get this month, and write my time-table and deco my diary.. and stuffs like that. seriously, i look around and observe people as history goes on and i see half the class stoning or staring into space. some doodling and some paying attention. and some falling asleep even. .. how interesting. -.-
i have 2 tests sometime on thursday and i think it's going to be a mad rush of studying. geog and math on the same day. it scares me a bit and yet, i dont know why i'm not studying... yet. i guess i havent kicked off my procrastination habit. i just kind of enjoy doing nothing. (:
and friday is the mozart concert thing. and i'm fretting over what to wear. LOL. and, it's also mergi's birthday (: and playing soccer for recess is still fun. and my shoe still flies away everytime i kick really hard cox my shoe's loose. HAHA. it's hilarious though (: i cant wait for this week to end. i want math test to fly away. i want geog test to fly away. i want chinese test to die. BAHHH.
and i feel like eating oreo cheesecake. and that reminds me of benn and danielle's cake =D HAHAHAS. which tasted quite good except for the additional stuff. and, that reminds me of faith. YAY! she's coming back again on the 19th. .. ((:
i cant wait for school to end and close down WOOO.. (:
and who needs to talk to them so often when we've got each other!! LOL. right?
and for you i will
-Riel
Jojo, ever and anon. type faster (:
;`9:10 PM
{Saturday, July 01, 2006 YY
and this week has finally ended and i'm feeling relieved. because that means, that there's approximately only 9 weeks left to the september holidays. (: YAY! hmms, i think overall, this week hasnt been that fantastic and yet, i still managed to get by.. somehow.
playing soccer for recess is fun. i scored two goals (: somehow, just somehow, i'm placed in this seat that actually allows for me to be happy. and i guess, all i needed was company. for just a while. to feel that i'm not alone physically, for just a while. .. and everytime i think of it, i feel foolish. because at every down point in my life i realise that who i needed most, was always there and yet i never realised. till it was over. and i just am really happy i'm getting back up on my feet [for finally]. it's not really supposed to make any sense. and i suppose, service has really just been so great and apart from that, mgnyte was wonderful today. and truly i wonder what it would be of me if i had not gone for service or mgnyte. ..
going for cell dinner today was quite fun i guess, in this really weird way. though it was short and everything, but it truly was amusing. and isaac's just really, really cute in this special way because even though he's different from me, from us. he's still god's child and the fact that he's god's child, part of god's world, makes him really special. he's just really cute, in this non paedophile way. anyways, it truly was funny. we were eating oiishii pizza and then he was disturbing eugene and priscilla. and talking about animals. and disturbing sister corina unintentionally.
isaac: hello. are you sister kelly?
sis corina: no, i'm sister corina.
isaac: are you sister kelly? [to eugene] is she sister kelly?
Eugene: no
Isaac: then who is she? sister mimi?[or was it limin? i couldnt hear properly] or pastor suzie?
Eugene: no
Isaac: then who is she? Sister kelly?
Eugene: no. sister corina.
Isaac: [to sister corina] so who are you? pastor poh?
Sis Corina: no, sister corina.
Isaac: sister kelly?
Sis Corina: no. i think i better go down for dinner. bye bye... *about to run away*
Isaac: wait, are you sister Corina?
Everyone: HAHAHHAHAs LOL. (:
HAHA. it was just hilarious. i dont know why but anyway, everyone was laughing. it was funny. and then after that we played a farm game as requested by isaac. we were all farm animals. and because eugene was supposedly the fastest runner, who won so many races, to isaac that is, he was a cheetah. and priscilla was a hippo because she was supposedly the best swimmer ever, according to isaac. and gabriel P was a puma because of the shirt he was wearing. and nathan was a horse and brother zhi hao wanted to be tarzan...
B. ZhiHao: can i be tarzan? i wanna be tarzan...
Gabriel P.: then can i be your Jane?!?!?!
LOL. really hilarious. so anyways, i was the starfish, and then changed into a goat, picked by isaac and sister cherie was a giraffe. LOL. and it was like catching. the predators, catch the prey... and isaac kept trying to scare me.. hahhas. and i was screaming like mad and running away from him. actually hiding behind keith. but it was funny. and oh wells, i had fun. he's a nice person. even if he is different. (:
and .. i wanna watch my korean show now but it's so late. BAHHH. ):
"and all i want is to be there for you, for this one last bit. because, that's all i can do. .. i'm always here for you."
and foolish i am, to think that i was alone, all along.
- Riel
;`11:43 PM