Just a passing phase;

{Thursday, May 31, 2007 YY

hmms, feeling slightly EMO. but hopefully, this wont be such a dreadful post. hah.

Today was fun. Kind of. Poke balls was boring lah. maybe cause i didnt play. so Mah Lu. got so many ah bengs. LOLs. yupp yupp.

short post this time, suddenly feel happier so it'll be less EMO tskk.

the gay voice dude in the lift was super punny. though it's really mean to laugh at people's voice but looking at his stature and size i thought his voice would be gruff and scary. but instead it was high and screechy. OUCH!

"Inside here got CCTV one arhh!"
"You inside they can see one arrh!"
"Dont make me call security!"

hmms, that was priceless really. funny. funny. ((: poor guy. i think it's quite tormenting to have such a voice. poor thing.HAH.

and i feel useless. i dont know how to help you. you asked me to step aside, this is your battle now. i know i know, it's yours now. i know we cannot help you anymore or at least i cant. i dont know how anymore. but i'm praying for you my dear girl. i knwo you're so much stronger than anything. and i know that no matter what the outcome is, you'll pull through. all i pray and wish is that you'll stop numbing and that somehow everything will be just alright. im sorry i could not be of help. it stings me tons. it pains. i can feel it in me.
Can you? Can you feel it in you? Or hasnt it yet stung? And will it ever? All you have to know is that i'm there. i'll always be. there as a support, there as a friend. i'm there deary. i'll be there. forever, as long as you need me. i'll be there. promises are usually sometimes empty ones but this time it's different. really, i'll be there.
i promise. i'll be there. always.

today was eventful? or maybe not. HOHO. funny.

TOMATO! ((:
- Riel

;`12:28 AM

{Sunday, May 27, 2007 YY

hmms, quiz done amelia dear ((:

I WANT: things to be like how it used to be
I HATE: the devil
I REGRET: eating so little today
I LOVE: GOD
I SHOULD: be resting since I feel like my head is going to roll off. I’m sick. I think.

WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK OF...
RYAN: michelle's oh so wonderful singer.
DOUG: Jo and benn's friend?
JOHN: the baptist.
SCOTT: X-men!!
KENNY: G?

IN THE LAST FEW DAYS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? Mhmm, alter call yesterday.
HELPED SOMEONE? Yeah, I guess..
GOTTEN SICK? Yupp now.
GONE OUT TO THE MOVIES? Yes!! To watch PIRATES!! lovee ((:
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? To Macs?
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yupp.
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? Yes! To Huirou dearest!!
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? TAWG Book?

WOULD YOU EVER...
1. EAT A BUG? I don’t think so
2. BUNGEE JUMP? YES!!
3. REVERSE SLIDE? Mhmm I don’t mind.
4. KILL SOMEONE? No way.
5. WALK ON HOT COALS? Ehhh… no?
6. GO OUT TO EAT WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER? Not really but it’ll be kind of fun to try.
7. GO OUT W/ SOMEONE FOR THEIR REPUTATION? No, that’s dumb.
8. where's 8?
9. PURPOSELY HURT SOMEONE? I don’t think so.
10. RUN A RED LIGHT? Yeah. Did before.
11. WOULD YOU DYE YOUR HAIR BLUE? No. RED streaks are prettier.
12. MAKE SOMEONE CRY? I think I have before.
13. STAY UP ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT? Did that too.

THE LAST PERSON WHO...
1. SLEPT ON THE SAME BED WITH YOU? Older brother?
2. SAW YOU CRY? jeann
3. YOU SAW CRY? Myself?
4. WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH? Family.
5. LAST PERSON YOU WENT FOR DINNER WITH? Friends?
6. THAT CALLED: I don’t get calls. ):

DO YOU PREFER
1. FLOWERS OR CANDY? Depends on who’s giving.
2. GREY OR BLACK? Black.
3. COLOUR OR BLACK? Depends.
4. SUNRISE OR SUNSET? I think both is as beautiful
5. STAYING UP LATE OR WAKING UP EARLY? Staying up late definitely. I’m a night person. Not a morning person.

Yupp, just came back from camp ((: pictures up another day. quite late already so i pretty much can't be bothered. i'm having this annoying stomach ache. who ask stupid ariel not to eat just because she had no appetite. ARGH. ah wells. i feel cold and hot on occasions. shoots. oh wells. i'm still going shopping tmrw! WHOOPEE..

i wonder why i keep forgetting that i need to stay further away from you and not stay closer. i wonder why i dont take any precautions anymore, or is it just because the person's you? i wonder why i'm not doing anything anymore, not making an effort to back away, to be on guard. and i wonder - maybe it's because i don't wish to forget. and maybe it's because it matters whether you're there or not. and maybe it's because as much as it'll hurt next time, it feels good or rather better that you're there, at least temporarily.

.
These walls can't be my haven
These walls can't keep me safe here
And now I guess I gotta let them down

Cause everybody tries to put some love on the line
And everybody feels a broken heart sometimes, yeah
Even when I'm scared I have to try to fly
Sometimes I fall
But I've seen it done before

I got to break out...
I got to break out...
I got to step outside these walls
Love outside these walls
I feel my heart breaking
But its a brand new day
I'm going down
I'm stepping out
I'm stepping outside
These walls
.

Was on itunes, shuffle. Tskk.
((: and yes, the holidays are here. i do miss my trainer sadly, but no i do NOT have designs on him. mahah! ((: camp was fun i must admit. i did love it tons. funny, i really did. oh wells, i'm back home. ((: YAY. and i survived camp. i feel quite accomplished really ((: HEE. xP

June. ah june ((: say hello to wonderful beautiful holidays!
and service was good ((: and he spoke to me and now i can really say that i'm not scared of what is to come. because my trust is in God and the burden's been lifted so i need not carry such a heavy load anymore. My dad's a superhero again. needless to say. LOVEE.

Used to
- Riel

Labels: God LOVEE, quiz, randoming

;`11:08 PM

{Sunday, May 20, 2007 YY

CAMP.
in approximately 9 or 10 hours and there i'll be, going for assembly, boarding the bus and off to wonderful wonderful camp kaizen. how spectacular! NOT. oh wells, shall make the best out of such SAD SAD camps. but it'll probably be a truck load of fun. ((:

and optimistic ariel i shall be. tskk tskk.

and days are much happier now. probably less EMO. which is good ((: Man U loss yesterday ): SHEESH. i was sad. but the goal was good. it really was. But i was really hoping that Man U would win. )): the goal was so last minute RAWRR. but the game in itself is pretty unpredictable i guess. Oh well. shall have SPORTSMANSHIP as 'loser' eugene teo would call it. TSKK.

AND i'll miss the finals on wednesday!! AC milan VS Liverpool BOO. i'm rooting for AC milan! ((: I bet they'll win. But then everytime i support a country or team, they'll always LOSE. how crappy. BAHH. oh wells. I'm pretty sure AC Milan will win ((: YAY ((: at least i hope they do.

pshh, now off to sleep. i'm done packing. i have a really bad stomach ache. i wish it'll go away. i'm going for 4 days. it does sound long though it'll probably pass in a blink of an eye but OH WELLS. i'll be coming home before you know it. and then,

HOLIDAYS! yayness! ((:

Ah, SLEEP. annoying people chasing me off the comp. and somehow i feel like i'm going to miss my bed. my beautiful, lovely, comfortable, pretty, wonderful bed. and my pillows. and dear dear mr piggy and mr tortoises. LOL. this post has been a bore. shall post something more interesting if not emo (which i highly doubt would be) when i get back.

Don't miss me ((: and this is rather ego tskk. but then i highly doubt anyone would. BAHAH.

hmms, a flower without a tree would wither. A tree without a flower should not have any reasons to wither afterall a flower, one insignificant flower wouldnt and couldnt possibly change anything. but a flower without the tree would have such drastic changes and without a shade, a so called support, it'll stand alone; weak, lost, and dying. so to conclude, a tree without the flower will still be the same old, same old tree. however, the flower without the tree would definitely cease to exist. . .. .
i think.

hmms, a bunch of gibberish again. how random. ((:

Trees and Flowers or Flowers and Trees
- Riel

Labels: camp, flowers trees, random, soccer

;`10:20 PM

{Tuesday, May 15, 2007 YY

and a post that shall not and will not be emo. tskk tskk.
too many of that ehh? well what can i say? EMO's my middle name. BAHAH.

anyway today was quite slack. ((: whoots. and quite dumb really. i figured i always make a fool out of myself in school and still manage to laugh hysterically about it. mmms, habits of mind? LOL LOL.

out of boredom, Geri, Amelia and I decided to doodle and play paper games. and it started quite like this;

Me; "Okay.. 15. (starts to count softly.)
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15. (pretty much oblivious to my mistake, continues to count WRONGLY)"

Amelia; "Eh? it's 15 right? you counted 13."

Me; "Yeah what. SEE! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15."

(Pause)

Amelia;"12, 15?"

(Pause)

Then all three of us laugh.

HAHA. oh wells. this is only one of the many hilariously funny mistakes ive made. i really do make the most dumbest mistakes ever. tsk tsk.but it really was annoyingly hilarious though it was laughing at my own expense bahah! it really was funny.

Mr seow and Mrs horr's in vietnam. And we get free periods. YAYNESS! i feel the need to slack off and aimlessly do nothing. hmms, and it doesnt help that technically this week's the last week of so-called lessons. so yeah, i'm counting off to june hols!! whoots. so many things i want to do.

Let's make a list (not in any particular sequence, it's by random as usual), shall have to be quick since i have quite a number of homework to do plus studying for cheng yu ting xie thing. BLAHH. and there's momo tmrw. BOO. ohh and i realised that momo in jap is PEACH. haha! how amusing.

Hmms, 1st on my list;

Probably is to catch up with OLD friends. wanhui and chloe, and Crap circle. ((:
Shop! I so need a new wardrobe of stuff ((:
Drag amelia shopping to influence her on the wonders of beautiful, lovely shopping! bahah!
Outings with churchies! now, what would I do without them?
Sectional Outing Anyone?
Catch up with NEW or not so new friends. (Benn,Jo, Peach, Yeow, Dee, Huirou, Jie etc.)
Have crystal Jade dinner with usual dinner buddies! and OREO CHEESCAKE! my forever love;
Outings with lame-o 2M dearies.
Crash gate Liwen's barbeque parties! (Eh.. . LOL)
Buy more books to read.
Phone, Use the phone to communicate. I miss talking to people! Especially the ultra busy ones!
SLEEPOVERS!
CUT HAIR!!! i feel the urgent need to cut, cut, cut and CUT!!
hope and pray ((: for the dearest you. LOVEE (I'm not losing faith yet, and you'll do just great.)

and the list goes on. i took too much time typing all these. BAHH =X now i'm pressed for time. Oh wells.

AND to publicise, people;

PASSION AC. (At ACJC)

6.30 pm (including dinner and all)

For the Past, Present and FUTURE acsians, and also non future ones! ((: Who cares! just come for a great time of worship, and testimonies. ((: to encounter, and to be impacted! ((:

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free"

John 8:32

need someone to go with? then just ask me. since i'm going anyway! oh wait i forgot to tell you WHEN. it's Friday, 18th May 2007. Be sure to come!

Be there or Be CIRCLED!

HEH. ((:

his joy is my strength;

- Riel

Labels: holidays, passion AC, toot me

;`7:37 PM

{Thursday, May 10, 2007 YY

So then define the word, fear.

fear
–noun
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2. a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights.
3. concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.
4. reverential awe, esp. toward God.
5. that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear.

and my fear is losing you.
i'm scared, so scared.
and all i pray for is that the things you told me were truth and not lies just because you didnt want me to worry for you, to feel what i'm feeling now;
and that is fear.

i'm praying hard that in any event that those were lies, that you wont give up so soon, that you wont feel as if it's just the end, that it's time for you to go. i pray for so much faith in you, that you will choose to believe otherwise. and i pray for boldness and perseverence.
You know how much he needs you.
You know how much they need you.
I need you.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you Lord."
Psalms 56:3

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."
Psalms 31: 24

hmm, EMO?
well, it doesnt feel so bad now. in fact i feel comforted, knowing that He will be my stronghold in times of weakness, and he will be my strength when i'm crumbling and falling. and so no matter how much i'm afraid, no matter how much i'm worried, no matter how much i'm distressed and pained, i will learn to trust in you, for you are worthy and awesome. and you'll always be there.
You'll be there through it all.

And people say, you never treasure someone or know how much they're worth till they're gone. and just in the middle of all these, i finally understand what it means to show how much i treasure you, to show how much i care and that i really do love you. and through all the times when i should have told you and expressed it to you, i didnt. and through all the times when i knew you felt so alone, i never did a thing. and through each and everyday when i see the fragile and weak you, my attempts to comfort you have just been quite futile and i hope and pray that now's not too late;
not too late to tell and show you how much i love you.
and how much you're worth to me.

and in you i hope,
and in you i trust,
and i lay it all down to you Lord,
i lay it all down.

how much you're worth
- Riel

Labels: fear, hope, trust and prayer

;`8:05 PM