Just a passing phase;

{Friday, July 27, 2007 YY

"It's marriage or nothing?"

"It's marriage or nothing," he answered. "I want to make sure you wake up with me every morning. I want to go to sleep next to you, and share your dreams and your sorrows and your triumphs. I want to know that I have a home. I want us to have children - and if you don't want or you can't, or it doesn't work out - then I want us to lavish everything we have on Grace. Just let me love you."He swept her hair off her face. "You can't imagine how much I want that."

- Extracted from You made me love you.

AWW. sweet and awesomely old, hmm probably in my mum's era or something hehh. still, edward cullen is much sweeter. ((:

10 Days to ECLIPSE! ((:
and i feel exceptionately excited!!
Gosh, i can't wait. ((:

This week is ending soon and woah, i feel tired. sort of. but my daddy's been so awesome. and i feel i can take on anything and everything with him ((: (except maybe math LOL.kidding) but yeah, god's been so great and it's just been a week where he's been there guiding me, loving me, speaking through me, and helping me along through everything. and then i guess it led me to start wondering, what would i do without him.
and blessed i am to know you lord, ((:

Chi was hilarious. ((:
Elena; 。。。岂会因身处异国他乡而转移？。。。
Lao Shi; 你知道是什么意思吗？
Elena; (immediately) 我不知道。
Lao Shi; ....... OK, 继续。
Elena; 当飞机飞过鳞波闪闪的柔佛海峡时。。。
Lao Shi; 停着，你知道哪里是柔佛吗？
Elena; Err, RAFFLES.
(Everyone laughs, Elena laughs)
Lao Shi; O.O 不是！哎哟，是Johor啦！
(Everybody laugh louder)
Lao Shi; 那你知道柔佛海峡是什么吗？
Elena; Err.. Johor BAHRU.
(Everybody laugh harder, Elena laughs again)
Lao Shi; (exasperated sigh) 不是啦！是Johor的Straits!
(Laugh. Michelle Laughs super loud)
Lao Shi; 哎哟！看你啦。你的朋友在笑你了！(Shakes head)
(And everybody laughs harder)
Elena; (To us) What! Johor matches with Johor Bahru what!!

TSKK.
funny, i would've said the same thing hehe. it was hilarious. ((:
that was the highlight of chinese. Getting back stupid summary was depressing. at least i didnt fail. LOL. and now, my main aim is to study ultra hard for normal Chi next year cause i think my higher chi is quite hopeless HEH ((:

They say people never really change, and i'm wondering to a certain extent, how it seems to be true. and i thought that with time and age, people would mature and change their habits or attitude to be exact. i guess maybe for some, they just don't ever change. or maybe i'm just being too critical. but seriously, after so many years, shouldnt a person's lousy attitude change for the better. shouldnt they be more mature!? ah wells, maybe some people don't change after all. just wait till my daddy cracks you and changes you. im pretty sure you'll be different then. ((:

PW. Gosh i hate PW. What with all the government land and catering prices and food and what nots. it's driving me nuts! GRR. Stupid PW. crappy Budget report. GAHH. oh wells. hopefully i'll do well. TSKK. riel's hopeless. =X

Invisible Target is awesome! Really. ((: I wanna watch it again and again and again and again. My first Hong Kong Movie. Sort of. Oh wait Second. My first was the one with awesomely cute Jaycee in it yet again (: HEE. ((:

And you can obviously tell i'm happy even though stressed. well, sort of. PSHH.

Eclipse

- Riel

;`10:08 PM

{Sunday, July 22, 2007 YY

hmms, and it's been 20 over days since school started. just doesnt feel that long. funny eh? just in between all the buzz and business of everything, time just goes and goes and goes a long way.

this week's been. hectic. yupp that's the word. with SALT stuff and tests and other weird things, i suppose it was hectic. but yeah, i managed to survive all that. ((: oh yay.

went to jeann's house today to celebrate her not so surprise after all birthday party thing ((: it was totally crapped up heh. like, she knew even before she was there. and then like, she saw abby even before she entered the house through the window. LOL. it was really hilarious though. and we watched step up ((: i love the dance. and with channing it's like a plus? HAHA.

service was good. actually service is always good. it's awesome and the presence of God was just so uber strong that it swept me away. and i think there really was a transformation that took place in me. and the lies of the devil that constantly repeats in my head just disappeared. they were crushed. because i am good enough for God. and i am worthy of his love. and through my imperfections he will use me. and mould me. ((:

and then there's that.
and then there's the mixed up, crushed up, crapped up little tinge of ache that's there. but i know, that i'll get stronger. that my daddy will pick me up. that what's broken will be mended, that what's pained will be healed. and what's left will always be better than what was there.

and i draw strength from you Lord.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
Psalms 27:14

i'll be alright. i'll be just fine. i'll be okay.

and to all th sec 4 SALTIES, though most of you might not read this anyways, but you guys have been awesome and more then awesome, inspiring. and i'll miss you guys so, so much. ):

Jie, thanks for the rainbow letter. ((: LOVEE.

mmms, i feel mixed now. a bit. but i'll be alright. im hanging onto the promises of God ((: nothing can go wrong.

and to serve God you need to have the heart. i dont even know how to tell you guys that there's a need to be changed. you need to have the heart. before you serve, you need the heart. a love song to God isnt just any song. dont sing it if you just like the tune, the lyrics, sing it cause you mean. sing it as if it come deep down from every single corner of your heart. to serve my dears you guys need the heart. the heart that yearns to serve god. that yearns to be used by him. it's not about you. it's not about your voices, it's not about the song, it's not about the newest most upbeat song. it's about the heart. it's about God. at the end of the day my dears, it's about your love for him. not about fun. not about your passion for singing. it's about him. and him only.

the broken unbroken.
- Riel

Labels: God ((:, strength, unbroken

;`9:05 PM

{Friday, July 13, 2007 YY

and then there are times when you feel so compelled to help a friend and yet you can't. because no matter how hard you want to help, you want to care, they wont let you in. they wont let you even know what's going on. and then all of a sudden you feel so helpless. like you're hanging. you're listless, you're worried. and you're just not you anymore. how can you be?
and that's how i feel.

i think july has been a month of obstacles, where there's so many things happening, to other people and everything and then suddenly your perspective of things change and suddenly reality hits you and you realise, there are more people out there that needs fixing. urgently. that needs the love of God. that needs the promises and the assurance that he is there. that it's not the end of the world. that there is still hope. there still is.

but on a lighter note, though this week has been very heart breaking, heart wrenching, has left me distraught, on my knees, praying, worrying, crying on the inside, i guess TAWG's just been great and TAWG's been just a time where i can be quiet in his midst and pour everything out. just between me and him. it's been a fruitful time of growing and of just letting go of the burdens, the pain and the worries. i love my daddy! ((:

Well, school's been bittersweet. sort of. like there's still the study part which i really dread. like it bores me. and sometimes the teachers are cranky which makes it worst. usually. )): but the sweet part is mostly the times when we're just slacking in class and playing the well knowned game, truth or dare. TSK. (though it seemed like truth or truth) funny, we played it for 3 consecutive days and like, it was fun and awfully funny. and unlike the usual where TOT is full of lies, no one really lied. HAH. ((: today was fun. i guess.

but then i couldnt stop worrying bout you. i dont get why you wont tell me anything. all i want to do is be there for you through this. is that too much to ask? it sucks to walk around at home, trying to fall asleep, feeling anxious, scared, worried and just listless all day. and i keep thinking, so how are you. and then the only thing i get is "dont worry im fine." how do i stop worrying you tell me when you didnt even sound yourself at all. my dear, please please be alright.

sigh.

but then, i taught for SALT today. i hope i did well. or okay. =X but God was there. always there. he helped me through it ((: and dearest jeann was there too. so, HMM ((:

and you should know i care alot
- Riel

;`8:38 PM

{Monday, July 09, 2007 YY

well, it's back to school. back to routinary life, back to disciplined life, back to falling sick half the time again (due to lack of sleep or flu bug)

Which i am now. Sick i mean.
Hot and Cold, wait more hot than cold.
Sniffing endlessly. and i wonder how and why i always have to fall sick. hmms, probably due to my need of excessive (which is 12 hours and over) sleep. but lately, falling asleep has been tougher, and i used to fall asleep so fast that now, being unable to fall asleep is like a chore / nightmare. it scares me. i hate tossing and turning. the feeling of being unable to fall asleep although you're just super tired, it's horrible. ):

it's 9 around there now, and my homework's not really done yet. im cramping and sniffing and everything. Sigh, what a day. but then again TAWG was great as usual ((: so there shouldnt be any complaints tskk. ((: ah wells.

Played Out was good. there were so many salvations ((: And i thank God that sherr decided to accept him ((: all my years of prayer, of inviting, of being rejected. they all paid off. FINALLY. ((: and my daddy's an awesome God! LOVEE.

well i probably should start studying now. )): crapp. and and, i should take a panadol like urgently. SIGH. and it's only monday. tskk! can't wait for friday! cause then the next day would be saturday with no school. plus there's church! oh yay! ((: HAH. i feel happy now. shalls tart doing homework tskk.

and did i even mention, i'm easy to please? ((: hehh.

-

Light of men
Love of God
Healing for the wounded heart
Like a child I quiet my soul
Hear Your voice surround me Lord

Jesus, hold me into Your heart
Into Your heart
Lord my soul delights
And I know You hear my prayer
Take me deeper Lord

Glorious Son to You I shall bow
Bow my knee, bow my will
Cherished by the strong and the weak
Humble hearts shall hear You speak

By Your love Lord You opened my heart
Now Your light will shine always
By Your Word Lord Your promise secure
And my soul will live always

Take me deeper Lord

-

"Ariel, i see such a strong girl in you but you need not be strong in the lord. Soak into his love, draw strength from him."

and just when i thought i was alright, i guess maybe i wasn't. and maybe for the longest of times, i masked my pain, my weariness, the feeling of being incapable of so many things, my weaknesses. and then burying them under a load of work, of school, of strength that probably was just me alone. i guess, up till then when you prayed for me, it was then i realised that no matter how well i fought to be strong, i'd never be at rest, never be finally soaking myself in his love, and drawing THE strength from him and not just from me alone. but then, i let go. and then i felt complete. and then i felt him. and then i felt love, and then i felt like i could carry on, and then i felt not just physically strong, and then i felt as if i could conquer the world, and then i felt at ease, and then i felt the need for so much more of him, and then i felt this entire weight lifted up to heaven, and then i felt satisfied, i felt focused. i felt happy. and i thank God for YOU ((: you're probably not reading this now. but i'm glad you were there. you made this big difference.

i draw strength from you Lord,
- Riel

;`8:21 PM